Why You Should Never Settle

Our 20s come with a lot of shit: let downs, unnecessary heartache, and, of course, a lot of stress to become the best you possible. Trying to make sure you have your shit together while still being mildly irresponsible for your own sanity can be tough. So why make it harder by settling for less than what’s deserved?

I was the definition of a settler in high school. I usually would just take what I received even if it wasn’t what I wanted—Gross cafeteria lunch choices, fake mean girls who were really attention seeking airheads, even my grades. One time my math teacher marked a question wrong on a quiz and when we went back over our answers I saw that my answer was correct, just solved differently. Did I argue him down and insist he give me an extra point? Nope. I just reported that my given grade of a C was right and shoved the paper into my messy binder. Settled. I didn’t really realize how detrimental this habit was to me until college when those extra points more than mattered! I started hunting down my professors like a bloodhound whenever I saw a grade mistake and would bug them until it was fixed. Not only was I a psycho about the few classes I was actually passing then, but I started speaking up on other stuff that had to do with friends and, ahem, “situationships”. Long story short, I wasn’t having none of that bullshit anymore. I guess sometime between the frantic nights trying to meet homework deadlines and recovering from drunk awkward moments I just decided that I was worth more, and that I would always allow myself to have more.

Don’t be fooled, I’m not from a family made of wealth or anything, and I know that you can’t always have everything. However, my mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother ( still kicking, with her 97 year old self) were all raised on “take what they give you”. Take what they are apathetically tossing at you is what that sounds like to me. But I understand to a certain extent: Black people haven’t always had the freedom to do anything, let alone choose better for themselves. My mom had to take that car with 100,000+ miles, that shitty job with the racist or sexist supervisor, that even shittier apartment in order to care for us and survive. However it’s 2018, and our generation has more opportunities available to us than any that came before us.

As for relationships, I’d like to think I’ve gotten better at not settling for less. Every man I’ve had has been better than the last one, so hey, that’s a plus right?! I’m not a finicky person when it comes to dating, but I also don’t think I’m hard to please so I don’t settle for a “sometimes” ass man. And I’m so perfectly okay with that.

Life isn’t and shouldn’t be about surviving. If I have an exceptional resume, great people skills and I’m smart as shit then I’m going for that job that is paying $14/hr. If I feel like my boyfriend could be better, I’m going to get a better one. If I want to buy my short ass a Jeep because I wanna sit up high and blast Ludacris’ Move Bitch, then dammit, I’m buying a Jeep. I don’t have to settle. Neither of us do. Don’t settle just because you think your goals aren’t achievable or that you aren’t deserving of them. You, 20 something have so much opportunity out there to do and have whatever the hell you want, just always be willing to work for it.

– Tay Sharee